How to build self confidence – remember names !
If you find it difficult remembering names when you introduce yourself, here are some simple steps on how to build self confidence to help you get better at it – practise them from now on whenever you meet someone new –
Tips for remembering names
- Firstly – Be disciplined – Get into the habit of accepting that remembering names is an essential part of introducing yourself. It’s easy to forget because you’re taking in so much information when you first see the person. By the way, a new habit takes about 3 weeks to feel comfortable with and get used to so you’ll have to persevere here. Remind yourself constantly just before you meet someone new – Remember name ! Remember name ! Remember name !
- Secondly – Don’t be afraid to Ask – If the person doesn’t tell you their name, have the confidence to ask politely what it is. People with self confidence do this without even thinking about it.
- Thirdly – Get Clarification – If you don’t hear the name clearly, ask the person to tell you it again. This isn’t rude – it’s a polite thing to do rather than get the name wrong later and embarrass yourself.
- Fourthly – Repeat it – Repeat the name back to the person after they’ve told you it. This helps to cement it in your mind. Then whenever you look at the person, say the name to yourself until you remember it without thinking.
- Fifthly – Find an Association – Try to Link the person’s name with something physical that distinguishes the person. Perhaps something they’re wearing or something about them that stands out to you.
- Sixthly – Write them down – If you’re socialising or working in a group situation at work, write peoples’names down in the order they’re sitting. Then test yourself with each person’s name by saying it to yourself as you go round the room until you’re comfortable you know them all ‘off pat’. You should be able flit from one person to another and be able to readily recall their name as you look at them. I find this process normally takes about 5 minutes once everyone is sitting down. This exercise works if for groups of up to about 15 people.
- And lastly –Use them – Now that you’ve done the hard work of remembering the names, use them. Address people by their name regularly. They’ll notice this, and their perception of you as a person with self confidence will build.
It’s completely normal to feel a little anxious when you meet someone for the first time, particularly in a work or formal environment. Try to use this anxiety positively to up your game and be more aware of how you’re coming across. That way you’ll be better prepared to remember peoples’ names.
Think consciously from now on about how you introduce yourself to people. Use your body language to give the very best first impression. The more you do this, the more confident and comfortable you’ll feel when meeting people. When the other person sees that you are at ease, they too will feel more relaxed and the conversation is likely to flow much more easily.
So don’t forget … remember name !
by Mike McClement