How to say NO politely

This is a really simple technique you can use immediately. Discover how to say no politely. Use 3 simple steps to stop yourself saying Yes when you should be saying No.

FREE mini course “Mastering the Art of Saying NO”

Easy ways to stop people taking you for granted. Stop feeling pressurised.

Summary & key points from this video

For some people, Saying No is pretty well impossible. Why? Because they are ‘Yes’ people. If you’re a Yes person, here’s one really simple technique you can use immediately. It will help you to say no politely whether you’re at work or socialising.

However, before you try it out you’ll need to get over the mental barrier that saying No is wrong. You can’t feel guilty about it. It really is OK to say no. Once you’ve come to terms with this then please read on.

So, what’s next? How can you say no politely?

It’s very simple really. You need to be positive in your initial response. If you use positive language the other person will immediately relax and be more receptive to what you have to say. So, you need to ease them in gently. You could start by saying something like… “I really want to help you out….” or “You’ve got a lot to do, I hope I can help…“

By giving a positive message initially, it will be easier for you say NO. And, what’s more, there’s less chance you will come across as someone who is unhelpful or rude.

For the next step you need to have self-discipline. Why? Because you need to give yourself some time to think.

To give yourself time – you could say “I’d like to help you” (positive initial comment) “but I need a couple of minutes to think about it, I’ll come back to you. Where will you be?”

It’s good to have a ‘default’ response like this to use whenever someone asks you to do something that you sense will hijack you from your own priorities.

A few minutes later you can go back to the person and say something like “Hi, I’ve thought about it but …”

Your answer here is important. Your aim is to give the person a solution. My free mini course “Mastering the Art of Saying No” will give you some simple ideas to help with this.

In summary;

1. Get it out of your mind that you’re being negative if you say no.
2. Be very positive in the first comment you make.. “I’d like to help”.
3. Give yourself some time… “I need a couple of minutes to think about it.”

It’s not a complicated process. It does work. Saying no politely is possible.

FREE mini course “Mastering the Art of Saying NO”

Easy ways to stop people taking you for granted. Stop feeling pressurised.

How to say no politely transcript

Hi this is Mike McClement. “No I’m really sorry, I can’t do that right now”.

How hard is that to say? Well for some people it’s pretty well impossible. Why? Because they are ‘Yes’ people. Maybe you’re a Yes person. If you are I’ve got a really simple technique here that will help you to say no politely when you need to.

The first thing to do though is to get over the mental barrier that saying No is wrong. Of course it’s not wrong if you’re busy and you’ve got other things to do that are more of a priority – you need to say No. The trouble is, a lot of people can’t.

The main reasons? They don’t want to hurt the person’s feelings. They don’t want to seem negative. They don’t want to be seen as unhelpful. They don’t want to be seen as not a team player. There are all sorts of reasons; you can understand them. But sometimes No is the right answer.

The key to saying No is firstly to be positive when you do it. Yes this is possible. I’ll tell you how in a minute. And secondly to have the self-discipline to give yourself some time. So what do I mean by these things?

Well, let’s just imagine. Someone’s coming up to you. You can see them coming. Quite often they’re the same people who ask things of you … ask you to do things when you’re busy. You will now have a ‘default’ answer to give whenever this person or anybody else asks you to do something.

First off, you give yourself time. You say “I’d like to help you” – that’s a very positive initial comment – “but I need a couple of minutes to think about it, I’ll come back to you. Where will you be?”

And it really is as simple as that. If they push it, you say again – “Look, I’d like to help. I do need a couple of minutes to think about it though. I’ll come back to you”.

So that’s exactly what you do. You go away. They go away. And you think about it. You decide if it’s a Yes or No. You’re factoring in your other priorities. You’re working out what impact it will have on the other things you’re doing. That kind of thing.

Then you go back to find the person to give them your answer. Guess what might have been going on while you’re away thinking? What would you do if you were the person who’s asked you for help? Well, you need it done so you’re probably going to go and find somebody else or you do it yourself.

So you go back to the person, you say “Hi, I’ve thought about it …” Before you’ve even given your answer probably, the person will interrupt you and say “Don’t worry, it’s sorted.” – They’ve either gone to someone else or they’ve done it themselves.

No problem on your part therefore! You’re not seen as a negative person. You said initially you’d like to help if you could. You meant it.

This idea isn’t going to work every time but it will work a lot of the time. If it’s your boss, you could add to your answer by saying “I’ve thought about it, I can do it but if I do I won’t be able to attend the meeting at 2pm, I’ll struggle to get the report out by the end of play today and probably won’t be able to make that conference call. Do you still want me to do it?” If she says yes, she knows where you stand or she might say No, don’t worry, I didn’t realise you had so much on your plate.

So a simple technique – In summary;

Firstly, get it out of your mind that you’re being negative saying No. Secondly, be very positive in the first comment you make “I’d like to help”. Thirdly, give yourself some time “I need a couple of minutes to think about it.”

It’s not a complicated process. It does work. It requires self-discipline. I wish you luck. You really can say No politely.